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Less is More

When I am feeling depressed I sometimes go and get a haircut. It makes me look a little different and makes me look a little younger and so makes me feel a bit happier as well. The past week had been particularly tough; I had been stood up and stamped down. I was feeling particularly vulnerable and I felt like a haircut.

I have been going to the same hairdresser for years. Rocky is a young savage looking Lebanese man with a vicious short cropped hairstyle, steroid-pumped muscles that bulge under his tight white t-shirt, sinister tattoos on his thick, dark neck and a voice as soft and delicate as a 4-year-old girl.

“How would you like me to cut your hair today?” he whispered in his little girl voice.

I slumped down in the chair and stared at myself in the mirror. “You can do what you like.”

Rocky’s eyes widened. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, do what you like. I want to look young and groovy.”

Rocky needed no further encouragement. I sat in the chair for hours and that haircut still holds the record for the longest time I have ever sat in a hair salon.

When rocky was finished I sat in the chair and stared at my new young and groovy self. Rocky stood beside me with his hand on my shoulder. He was so proud; tears began to well up in his eyes.

“That is beautiful! Now, you look young and you also look groovy.”

I paid Rocky two hundred dollars and walked out of the salon. I was still depressed. I still felt stood up and stamped down but now I also had short cropped bleached platinum hair with lightning bolts shaved down both sides of my head. (more…)


Men in High Waisted Jeans

The sophisticated country girl will discover on her trips to the city that geography and the fashion world has carefully separated Australian men into two different categories. Men who live east of The Great Divide in the cities and suburbs wear tight low waisted jeans and men who live in the wide open landscapes west of the Great Divide wear looser fitting high waisted jeans.

Men who wear tight low waisted jeans wear them with sneakers and tight t-shirts. Men in loose low waisted jeans wear them with western boots and faded cotton work shirts tucked in behind belts with large silver buckles.

High waisted jeans become soft and faded over the years because, being in the country, they get very dirty and require frequent washing. Tight, low waisted jeans remain stiff and dark. This is because men in tight, low waisted jeans never wash their jeans. I know this because when I was buying a pair of tight, low waisted jeans recently I was advised by the young and groovy sales assistant not to wash them.

“Really...” I said. (more…)


Don't Go Unnoticed

Over the course of her life the sophisticated country girl will find herself having to attend the odd family event that she really prefer not to be at. The sophisticated country girl would rather to melt into the back ground, become a wallflower and go unnoticed than to stand out on these occasions. For such affairs the fashion world created the pink pastel.

Pure colours are vibrant, they are beautiful and they attract attention. To make a colour less vibrant, less attractive and to go unnoticed all you have to do is add some white and you have created the pastel. The most self-effacing pastel of all is the pink pastel. The pink pastel is what you wear when your self-esteem is low and you need to camouflage yourself.

Early one morning an unmarried sophisticated country girl finds herself reading her invitation to her pretty younger sister’s wedding ceremony to her handsome, successful merchant banking boyfriend. The ceremony is to be held at his parents’ mansion on Sydney Harbour where the happy young couple are to arrive by helicopter. The sophisticated country girl reads the invitation she has just collected from the run down local post office after a 1 hour drive in 40 degree heat in an old flat tray Land Cruiser with no air conditioning and some unrecognisable road kill stuck to the front bumper. The unmarried sophisticated country girl looks up at the dusty, wind swept street with its empty shops and dismal old pub and wonders if she will ever find a man to love. (more…)

Posted In: Fashion, Sound Advice


The sophisticated country girl is going come face to face with different situations involving her friends in the city where she will have a choice to toe the line and comply with their dress codes or completely disregard the sartorial norms of her city friends and dress the way she really wants to.

One such occasion is when the sophisticated country girl receives an invitation from one of her city friends to come to morning coffee with her mothers’ group at an inner city café. The invitation will usually be accompanied by the phrase “…It will be really casual”. This is city girl talk for “please wear your trainers and sport clothes and not those western boots you sometimes turn up in….” On arrival at the inner city café the sophisticated country girl will notice that the city girls will all be dressed in tight, multi-coloured workout gear teamed with a pair of bright multi coloured trainers.

It should be noted that a guiding principle of the fashion industry is that no one ever went broke underestimating the public taste. We see this principle applied with force when it comes to work out gear. The sport fashion labels gave up trying to make clingy, black Lycra tights flattering or attractive so instead they decided to make them downright ugly. Tights now come in garish colours and are three quarter length. An awkward length on an unforgiving pair of pants in colours that suit no one. Team them up with a pair of bulky, multi coloured trainers and you have an outfit no one will look good in. Inner city mums immediately adopted it as their morning coffee uniform.


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Posted In: Fashion, Sound Advice
Welcome to “A Country Girls Guide to Style and Sophistication”. This site is dedicated to providing the sophisticated country girls of regional Australia with helpful hints, sound advice and worldly guidance to help make sense of the styles, fashions and habits of their urban sisters living east of The Great Divide.
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