When I am feeling depressed I sometimes go and get a haircut. It makes me look a little different and makes me look a little younger and so makes me feel a bit happier as well. The past week had been particularly tough; I had been stood up and stamped down. I was feeling particularly vulnerable and I felt like a haircut.
I have been going to the same hairdresser for years. Rocky is a young savage looking Lebanese man with a vicious short cropped hairstyle, steroid-pumped muscles that bulge under his tight white t-shirt, sinister tattoos on his thick, dark neck and a voice as soft and delicate as a 4-year-old girl.
“How would you like me to cut your hair today?” he whispered in his little girl voice.
I slumped down in the chair and stared at myself in the mirror. “You can do what you like.”
Rocky’s eyes widened. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Yes, do what you like. I want to look young and groovy.”
Rocky needed no further encouragement. I sat in the chair for hours and that haircut still holds the record for the longest time I have ever sat in a hair salon.
When rocky was finished I sat in the chair and stared at my new young and groovy self. Rocky stood beside me with his hand on my shoulder. He was so proud; tears began to well up in his eyes.
“That is beautiful! Now, you look young and you also look groovy.”
I paid Rocky two hundred dollars and walked out of the salon. I was still depressed. I still felt stood up and stamped down but now I also had short cropped bleached platinum hair with lightning bolts shaved down both sides of my head.
The sophisticated country girl will at times find herself in the city staring at wonder at all the groovy hairstyles. Shaven sides, long on top, pulled into a top-knot and dyed all the colours of the rainbow and, yes, that is just the men. The sophisticated country girl may then look at her own country boy, who has had the same hairstyle for all the time she has known him (except for that one time he took his young nephews to the movies and came home with bubble gum through his hair which resulted in his shortest haircut ever) and wonder why he doesn’t spend just a little more time and effort on his hair.
Men in the city have a lot invested in their young and groovy hairstyles; it describes where they live, what they do for a living and even their sexuality. When a city boy meets another city boy who is new to town for the first time he will know immediately by looking at his hairstyle that he lives in Newtown, earns more than $100,000 per year and is a potential sexual partner!
Tick. Tick. Tick. Welcome to Sydney.
The country boy, having lived in the same town, worked on the same farm and has been with the same sophisticated country girl for a fair proportion of his life has no need to project his lifestyle through a young and groovy hairstyle. It is just unnecessary.
Okay then, thinks the sophisticated country girl, if my country boy has to have the same hairstyle his whole life why does it have to be the same as every other man living west of The Great Divide?
Well, this is because country boys prefer not to look out of place. When a group of country boys arrive at an event all dressed the same way it is in no way a source of embarrassment; it is confirmation they have got the dress code right. The last time the sophisticated country girl arrived at an event dressed the same as her friends was when she was a bride’s maid at her sister’s wedding. On any other occasion, it is cause to go home and get changed.
Country boys have a very simple and effective formula when it comes to their hairstyle; less is more. So, the less you have to go to a hairdresser and the less time you have to spend with a hairdresser; the more money you will save. Also, the less you wash your hair, the less time you spend on it and comb it; the less you will worry about it and so the more relaxed you will be.
Country boys are very practical. They understand it really doesn’t matter how much time you spend on your hair because as soon as you walk outside and put your hat on no one is going to see it anyway.
The sophisticated country girl may even find herself feeling sorry for the hair of her country boy being overlooked and neglected year after year. In some instances the hair feels so jaded after being ignored for so long it decides enough is enough and stops growing altogether. This results in another big plus for the country boy; now he has nothing to worry about and the perfect excuse to wear his hat all the time, even indoors.
The sophisticated country girl shouldn’t worry about the complete lack of interest her country boy shows in his hair. For the less time, he spends on his hair the more it shows her country boy is happy in himself.
On the Contrary, if the sophisticated country girl was to find her country boy looking at himself in the bathroom mirror and wondering whether he should grow his hair and tie it back in a top-knot or maybe shave a lightning bolt or a star into the side of his head then she should be very concerned. Because as the sophisticated country girl knows all too well; there is a fine line between being young and groovy and being a dickhead.