I was sitting with Andrew the Family Law Solicitor in a noisy hotel bar opposite the Family Law Courts. Andrew was telling me about the worst date of his life. He had met a girl on a dating website. They had chatted over the phone a few times before they decided to meet, face to face, for the first time.
“I walked into the bar and I saw her sitting at a table. Our eyes met and the greatest look of disappointment swept over her face before she could hide it. I felt like running away but I sat down with her and said hello before she asked if I felt like a drink. I said yes and she walked away…”
I looked at Andrew. “So, did she bring you back a drink before she split?”
“Nuh, I haven’t seen her since”.
“But Andrew, I don’t understand how she could be disappointed with you when your image would be on your profile of the website…”
Andrew picked up his phone and showed me his profile. The image he presented was truly handsome, a dashing hero of supreme masculinity. Andrew is a good looking young man. He just didn’t live up to his own selfie.
The sophisticated country girl will find a similar disparity exists between the glamorous images posted by her city friends onto their social media sites and the true nature of their lives in the city.
The sophisticated country girl may look at the selfies of her city mum friend on her Facebook page titled “Better Lives Than Yours: Me, My Friends and Our Perfect Children” and believe her city mum friend drives her shiny black 4 wheel drive vehicle to the leafy private school every morning with the windows down so the warm spring air can sweep through her long blonde hair as she smiles out from behind large dark sunglasses. The city mum’s happy, well-groomed children always sit contentedly in the back seat of the vehicle as they speed along the wide suburban streets.
The sophisticated country girl might see the selfies of her career girl city friend with the big legal job with the big legal firm on her Website titled “Frumpy is the New Black: A style Guide for Female Family Law Solicitors” and believe she sits smiling behind her desk every morning in her sunny corner office with the view of Sydney Harbour sipping her morning coffee dressed in her sleek black suit with her sleek black pumps as she makes important legal decisions on important legal matters.
The sophisticated country girl could also see the selfies of her fanatically culinary city friend on her Weblog titled “The Kitchen Maniac: Pedantic Recipes for Obsessive Compulsive Disorders” and think that every evening her friend presents her family with wonderfully exotic and exciting dishes she has faithfully recreated from original recipes of inbred primitive tribes living in backward third world countries.
However, the sophisticated country girl will never ever see a selfie of her city mum friend with greasy, unwashed hair gridlocked in traffic on a cold wet Monday morning trying not to listen to her cranky, entitled children whinge all the way to some demanding private school she and her husband can only just afford because they’ve re-mortgaged their house. Because that’s not glamorous.
The sophisticated country girl will absolutely not see a selfie of her career girl city friend trapped in her small dark office well past midnight, her eyes straining under fluorescent lights as she churns through some pointless piece of litigation trying to rack up hours in a quietly desperate attempt to save her job in a firm full of misogynists. Because that’s not glamorous.
And, the sophisticated country girl will certainly never see a selfie of her culinary obsessed city friend sitting at a dinner table surrounded by her sullen family with their faces screwed up in mild revulsion as they sit in front of yet another bowl of odorous multi coloured slop garnished with kale when all they really wanted for dinner was sausages and mash. Because, once again, that’s not glamorous.
The sophisticated country girl should understand that her city friends are not trying to deceive her. Rather, when her city friends see each other’s social media posts they are reassured that their lives are inherently glamorous since, without a fair degree of glamour, a life in the city is nothing but tedious.
Still, the sophisticated country girl may look at her own Facebook page with pleasant images of family BBQs, Christenings and dirty children playing sport on Saturday morning and wish she could introduce just a little glamour into her own posts.
Well, to achieve this the sophisticated country girl has to do nothing more than invite her city friends to stay for the weekend. They will arrive, dress all the children immaculately, cook perfect country recipes and arrange locations beautifully. They will then take hundreds of images in order to find a perfectly glamorous shot which will then be posted to the Facebook page of the sophisticated country girl.